Subject: Fwd: YOUR LETTER
Dionne Comer wrote:
What about as a private individual? A miserable failure? An abstract concept, like ambivalence? If you're going to tell me what I'm being offered as a business, you've got to give me some other options.
And before I go any further, I feel compelled to note that Ms. Comer's e-mail address is one of the craziest things I have ever seen: Angelitamartinezalbatross@aiga.org.
That's right. Angelita Martinez Albatross. I think I've finally got the name of my female lead in the next exciting installment of "The Continuing Adventures of Copernicus Jones: Robot Detective."
And...that's supposed to be...good? I'm pretty sure I'd want my almost-40-grand secured. I'm just sayin'.
So you're not charging me to give me money. I appreciate that.
What if it's, like, horrifically bad? Like, negative credit? Would that be an issue? Is there anything I could do to make it one?
I want an issue.
Whoa, there, Dionne/Ms. Albatross! This is all moving very quickly for us. You can't just approach me like this, offer me nearly 40 grand, call me a business and then expect me to toss a ring at you. I need at least a little tongue action first.
And what if I can't afford a ring? So much for my credit not being an issue, huh?
You can't fool me. I know the Mike Tyson code and that ain't it.
You clearly haven't been privy to any of my dreams.
Will I get extra money if I call twice?
Um...yeah.
What? The telephone? The money you're offering me? Your ring?
Also, way to close your quotes, there, multiple-name-lady.
More names!
I say stick with the Albatross one. Then when you forced me to marry you I could take your name and become MW Albatross, dockside dance-man. Pay me a nickel and I'll play the accordion and jig all afternoon, m'ladies.
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