The Total Lack of Common Courtesy Drinking Game
If you hold a door open for someone and they fail to even give you a damn "thank you," take a drink.
If someone is coming through a door immediately before you, knows you are there and fails to at least keep it open long enough to stop it from closing on you or right in front of you, take a drink. If your hands are clearly full, take two.
If you let someone into traffic and they do not give you a little wave, take a drink, because they are an asshole.
If you are merging into traffic and the motherfucking cockass driver in the right lane does not move over to the left lane even though it's open, take a drink.
If, at a meal, one or more of the people at your table chews with his or her mouth open, take a drink for each excruciating instance.
If someone eats the last piece of pizza without even asking if anyone else wants it, take a drink and then spit it in that jack ass's face.
If some cocksucker nearby has gum and doesn't even bother to ask if anyone else wants a piece, take a drink.
If you're standing in a line and a douche bag cuts to near the front because they have a douche friend standing there, take a drink. If there's no douche friend and they just cut, take two.
If some crazy-ass bitch barrels from the other direction into the parking space you've been waiting on since the parked car's driver came out of the store, take a drink. If it's a minivan, take two.
For each incident of movie-theater talking about worthless shit, take a drink. If the talking is on a cell phone, take two.
If you are in the middle of a conversation with someone and they interrupt it to answer their cell phone, take a drink and step on their foot. If they don't even say, "I need to take this," take two and kick them in the junk.
For every instance in which some perv walks into a room you are in and which has the door closed, take a drink. If it's the bathroom, take two, because they are a super perv.
If there's another urinal open and a weirdo walks in and stands at the one right next to the one you're using anyway, take a drink.
Every time you see someone who did not wash their hands in the bathroom shake someone else's hand, take a drink, and giggle a little.
If someone buys liquor and fails to offer you a drink, finish the bottle.
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