Addressing Various Other Questions Regarding Hotness
It's been on the radio only for what feels like about a billion weeks, but New York rapper Mims' ubiquitous "This Is Why I'm Hot" continues to top the charts, coming in this week at No. 5 on the Billboard Hot 100 list.
Philosophers and academicians have been arguing since the first note played as to the true meaning of the song, to which the chorus goes:
This is why I'm hot
This is why
This is why
This is why I'm hot
I'm hot 'cause I'm fly
You ain't 'cause you not
This is why
This is why
This is why I'm hot
Perhaps the closest anyone has come to understanding the true intent of the song is Village Voice music writer Rob Harvilla, who provides this graphical breakdown of its various intricacies.
But what of the other questions that inevitably arise from the song, which many have dubbed the most powerful Socratic teaching tool since the ancient Greeks? We know the who and the why, but what about all the rest? I don't begin to think myself a great man of letters, but here I will do my best to address some of those pressing issues.
Question 1:
We have been made well aware of the correlation between hotness and flyness. But how do we grasp that which is hot. As anyone who wants to start a speech in a hackneyed fashion, I turn to the dictionary, which tells me that hot means "having or giving off heat," which means about as much as "fly."
So let's use a different definition. The fourth one listed is "sharply peppery or pungent." So there you have it. Mims is peppery or pungent or perhaps both.
Question 2:
Actually, I'm pretty sure "fly" is an adjective and not a verb in this case, but I'm not going to argue semantics with you.
Topeka.
Question 3:
A balmy 98.6 degrees.
Question 4:
Soon after I received my diploma from the Fly Institute in the mail. It has a authenticity seal on it and everything!
Question 5:
It's hot...in the pants.
No, seriously. It burns. It's probably the clap.
Question 6:
"The Fly" is a film starring Vincent Price or Jeff Goldblum, depending on when you were born.
Question 7:
You will know it's hot when the timer dings. You will need to preheat the oven to 450 degrees to acheive proper flyness.
Question 8:
That is the eternal question.
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