Proof I Should Be Given Work as a Headline Writer for The Onion
Area Man Does Humorously Mundane Task
President Bush Says Something to Belie the General Consensus That He Is Unintelligent
President Bush Mistakes Events From a Television Show or Film For Real Life
Scientific Study Proves Cliche True
Dating Relationship Treated Like Business Contract
Serious Issue Made Flippant
Trivial Issue Treated with Gravity
Religious Figure Participates in Activities Generally Associated With Aggression or Promiscuity
Area Teen Experiences Common but Rarely Articulated Phenomenon
Political Group Actually Responds to Common Criticism With Cataclysmic or Ridiculously Effective Results
Area Student Uses Skills Learned in Acheiving a Bachelor's or Post-Graduate Degree to Perform a Task Seemingly Unrelated to the Course of Study
Poll: Americans Prefer Humor Stories Regarding How Americans Feel About Polls
Celebrity Does Something Unexpected
Cinnabon Goes to Defcon 3
--------









