Subject: COCA-COLA AWARD
evelynclerk wrote:
Stop yelling! And that's not even a sentence!
Wow! 1 cars? That's 1 more than zero cars! And it's for "FREE," which I assume means "at the cost of several years of forced labor in the Coca-Cola Hong Kong flavor sweatshops."
Those kids are working so hard over there in the sweltering Orient to create deliciousness for only 15 cents an day. It's horrible. At Coke's headquarters in Atlanta, workers make upwards of like, 3 or 4 bucks. The world is so unfair.
800 grand? And that comes after the 1 free cars? And without even one exclamation mark? Is it like, 800,000 Confederate dollars or something? Or worse yet, Canadian dollars?
Or is it cash infected with AIDS?
I knew it!
You can't fool me, Coca-Cola Hong Kong. I know all about your AIDS-infected dollar scheme. I'm like the Sherlock Holmes of dollars infected with AIDS.
You make me sick. With AIDS.
"The Company?" Like an acting troupe? Instead of "e-mail to e-mail advertising," whatever that is, why not try some hilarious "Whose Line is It Anyway" style improv, then? Like, one guy can pretend the Coke bottle is a penis! Then the next guy can pretend it's his nose! Then the next guy can pretend it's a penis, but in a different context!
It's such creative theatre.
I never received anything, pal. I bet the mailman gave it to my neighbor, that asshole. I knew Ernesto was hiding something under his damn sweater vest when I passed by him on the way to work the other morning. And now I realize it was a fucking Mercedes!
That ass!
AIDS dollars!
Oh, just that? Actually, here's my Social Security number, too, and my Amazon password.
Hey, that's right! You did contact me via my e-mail address!
So why are you asking me for it again? I can't even begin to decipher your plan to send me AIDS dollars, Coca-Cola Hong Kong! You're like my own personal James Bond villain, with some kind of underwater bubble headquarters.
A bubble headquarters where draws occur! So you're like my James Bond villain and my Wild West nemesis.
I don't think I can handle this.
Sandy Robert
Sales /Marketing Manager
coca cola Asia
Hong Kong
A pseudonym! You really are a formidable foe, evelynclerk/Sandy Robert.
Maybe evelynclerk is your real name and Sandy Robert is your villain name? Like, your superpower is to get sand all in my underwear and in my hair, like at the beach?
I hate the beach, Sandy Robert. You fucker.
Hold up! This is apparently approved by someone with a signature! I had you all wrong, Sandy Robert. You've got credibility!
Send me your AIDS dollars!
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