Hey everyone.

It's been a great few weeks here at CRACKED.com, and I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Jay Pinkerton, Jack O'Brien, Monty Sarhan and everyone else who made it possible. Also, to all you folks who have been with me from the beginning, back from my old website on my college server to my Blogspot site, thanks for hanging with me. It's been fun, and I hope you've gotten some enjoyment out my stuff.

As I'm sure you've already deduced, I've decided that it's time to quit comedy. I know, it seemed like I was just getting started, but you know what they say about trying to go out on top? I've decided to do them one better and go out before I was even anywhere near the top. That's how strong my commitment to excellence is.

I'm sure you're wondering what's going to happen to this blog since I'm hanging up my comedy gloves. Well, take heart, readers. It will be going through a complete overhaul and redesign in the coming weeks so that I can begin working on my new hobby: poetry about architecture. I've been working on some poems for a few weeks now, and I think they've turned out pretty well. Here are a few example stanzas.

Oh, my dear, the spires
there on the cathedral
climbing higher and higher
into the sky.

Immense, regal, majestic
spires that climb to infinity.
Plus, they kind of look
like penises.

Not that I'm really into that.
it's just an observation.
Don't assume anything from this poem
on throbbing, bulbous spires.

Seriously, don't you judge me.
I just like writing poems.
Concluding anything past that
is so not cool.

I'm totally into boobies.
The kind that women have,
not the male genitals, so big
and potent.

More to come soon.

(Note: This, obviously, was an April Fools' joke. Just wanted to make sure you knew that, though. However, I remain intrigued by the idea of poems about architecture. I have posted a couple more on the forum. Feel free to post your own here.)

--------