The MW Blog: Images That Popped Up When I Did a Google Image Search for "MW" in Like, Mid-2003

Although I'm not particularly associated with the Reinassance as far as I know, this image impresses me a lot. Despite the fact that I don't have large spires in my architecture and the very real possibility that I'm not made of stone (only my resolve is), I would't mind somehow becoming a cathedral someday. I could even have a slogan. "The MW Cathedral: Bold new look, same great faith!" And even if I don't actually become a cathedral, maybe I could just try to become a saint and try to get one named after me. I could be the patron saint of Plus 5 bullets.

Oh, this is trouble. Not so much because the subject of the picture is not me or that it's a girl -- I can imagine that there are a number of people or businesses out there that have the initials "MW." My problem here is more with the similarities to me. For one, the hair looks a little to close to how mine looks right now for me to be happy, and the shirt is kinda the same color as my leather jacket. Actually, I kinda feel like this is what I would look like if I was female (although I think I'd probably have a beard, and there would have to be the glasses). Honestly, with that in mind, I feel sorry for this person. Almost as much as I do for myself. Minus 7 bullets.

I've actually thought about what I would do if I had my own country, including spending some time deciding what my flag would look like. Really, you have to think about these things ahead of time. My ultimate decision ended up being that my flag wouldn't have the following things: a sun, or bars of color. This flag (it's actually the flag of Malawi) breaks both of those rules. In fact, when I considered it even more I decided that the flag was pretty much just going to have to be a big picture of me with a caption underneath reading: "The MW country: Mediocrity in Action." And this just doesn't say that to me. Minus 4 bullets.

I suppose that this picture is trying to tell me that this is what I'm going to look like when I get older. For the most part, I'm okay with it. The suit's pretty nice. I like the checkered tie. And it looks like I might look to the right all the time. The only problem I really have is that the guy's bald. I guess that if I do actually go bald one day (maybe next week sometime), I'll live with it, but I've just always wanted to be one of those old guys with the really wild hair that looks like it's just kind of hovering over his head. You know, the ones whose hair looks too fake to be a toupee. With some aviator glasses. Yeah. That'd kick so much ass. Minus 2 bullets.

This is neat, because I looked it up and this is the actual equation for me. No, seriously. This function actually comes out to equal my exact value. As you can see, the final answer is negative 1.7. In actuality, my exact value is negative 1.711, but I'd say they got it pretty close. Interestingly enough, this is apparently also an equation for a portion of the process of measuring the magnitude of an earthquake or seismic vibration. Since I have been known to make the earth shake at times (or so the ladies tell me), it seems pretty appropriate. Plus 3 bullets.

This picture has nothing to do with me at all. But let me make this clear: I don't care. It came up when I searched for MW, and in case you couldn't tell that whole earth-shaking thing was a lie. So the fact that searching for MW yields this picture can only mean one thing: some sort of ironic fate machine has taken over Google Image Search and decided to play a devious trick on me. "Look at them ta-tas!" the machine says in its taunting, metallic drone. "You ain't never gonna get a hold of those!" But then again, seriously, look at them ta-tas. Plus 10 bullets.

Heh. Ta-tas.

--------

Categories

Search

Shopping

Contact

Recent Posts

Off-Site Pieces

Links

Post a comment