HANDGUN BULLETS

I'm gonna start off here by saying that I really only know about bullets of any kind by their usefulness in video games and movies. So, any information I give about them is going to be more than likely wrong or terribly skewed. That being said, handgun bullets are pretty weak. I mean, first of all they sound really wimpy ("PAP! PAP!") and it takes, like, an entire clip for me to kill a zombie with one. I'd rather have a wooden plank, even. At least then I'd get the neat "standing over the enemy I just bashed with a wooden plank" feeling. Minus 4 bullets.

SHOTGUN SHELLS

Okay, so shotgun shells aren't technically "bullets," as it were, but they're projectiles that shoot out of a firearm, so I'm gonna include 'em anyway. Ha-HA! Regardless, shotgun shells have everything handgun bullets don't. First off, they make an awesome sound of just outright explosion, and not only can I kill a zombie in one shot with one, I can blow his head clean off. If I'm not up close, I can hit about three zombies with the spray as well. In addition, when a shotgun shell is fired, and you have to use the pump action or pull the lever, you get that really neat shell-flying-out-of-the-barrel effect that I looks just so cool. Plus 7 bullets.

RIFLE SHELLS

I've never been entirely sure why these are called "shells" since they are definitely bullets. They don't burst open or have shot inside. Considering that, rifle shells are still pretty neat. For one thing, they're really pointy and cool-looking. Most importantly, though, getting through Silent Hill just wouldn't be the same without a hunting rifle--there's just something about banishing a demon to hell using projectile metal that I love more than most people I know. Plus 5 bullets.

MUSKET BALLS

Although I will say that the loading of a musket, in which one has to pour in the gun powder, then a wadding of cloth or paper, and then a musket ball, followed by having to pack it all in with a rod, makes for some great gags (I'm thinking of the one where Mr. Burns has the gun, fires at a guy's feet, says "Dance!," has to reload for a minute, and repeats), frankly, musket balls just aren't that great. Yeah, they're historical, but they're also not useful. Think about it: if you were challenged to a duel and you had to choose between a musket and a .45 with hollow points and a laser site, which would you choose? Minus 6 bullets.

MACHINE GUN BULLETS

The outright coolest things about machine gun bullets (and I mean for a real machine gun, not some sub-automatic silliness) is that 1) they come in these long chains or belts of bullets that just load in as you fire and 2) those chains or belts can be worn (i.e. across the chest) in extremely cool ways. Just throw on some fatigues with one of those and suddenly you're Dillon from Predator. And anything that makes one more Carl Weathers-like is beyond great. Plus 5 bullets.

CANNONBALLS

Cannonballs have lost their glory over the years. I mean, once they were the scourge of any seafarer or fortress-dweller alive. But now, they've been relegated to being replaced by celebrities on Circus of the Stars and being fired into fat men's stomachs. Not to mention that the diving board maneuver known as the "cannonball" just gives one the impression that their entire purpose is nothing more than to kick up a lot of water and make your older brother Steve embarrassingly wet while he's trying to put the moves on the hot female lifeguard. Minus 3 bullets.

And the various types of bullet end up with a whoppin' four bullets. I pray to God that they're really shotgun shells, though.