The Brotherhood of the Wolf: The Game
WARNING: This game contains spoilers. So if you still haven't seen the movie, go see it, and then come back and play this handy home version.
So you want to play a Brotherhood of the Wolf game, eh? Alright, here's how you play, step by step.
1) BECOME FRENCH. Go somewhere and acquire Frenchiness. I would suggest France.
2) FIND A KUNG-FU NATIVE AMERICAN. He must be Native American, and he must know kung-fu. I will not waver on this.
3) GET SENT TO A SMALL VILLAGE IN FRANCE THAT IS BEING ATTACKED BY A GIANT WOLF CREATURE.
4) BEAT UP A BUNCH OF GUYS WITH YOUR KUNG-FU NATIVE AMERICAN.
5) SEARCH FOR THE WOLF TO NO AVAIL, ALLOWING IT TO KILL A NUMBER OF INNOCENT WOMEN AND CHILDREN.
6) CAROUSE FOR A WHILE. For several days, just kind of go around drinking wine and laughing about things that aren't that funny. Go on a wolf hunt. Meet a guy who only has one arm and his noble father (this is important). Hit on a hot French chick. Go meet an Italian prostitute who's a gypsy.
7) MAKE A FAKE WOLF CREATURE AND GO TO VERSAILLES TO GET REWARDED FOR IT.
8) RETURN TO THE VILLAGE WITH THE TRUE INTENT OF FINDING THE WOLF CREATURE.
9) GET ATTACKED BY THE WOLF CREATURE WHILE HITTING ON THE FRENCH CHICK.
10)GET ARRESTED FOR GOING BACK TO THE VILLAGE AND KILLING A BUNCH OF PEOPLE HOUSING THE WOLF.
11)"DIE" WHEN THE ITALIAN PROSTITUTE BRINGS YOU FOOD.
12)GET BURIED.
13)FIND OUT THAT THE NOBLE FATHER AND THE GUY WITHOUT AN ARM WERE CONTROLLING THE WOLF ALL ALONG.
14)KILL THE HELL OUT OF THEM.
15)HAVE AN ELDERLY FRENCH NOBLEMAN WHO WAS YOUNG WHEN THE WHOLE THING HAPPENED WRITE ABOUT YOU.
You won!
So you want to play a Brotherhood of the Wolf game, eh? Alright, here's how you play, step by step.
1) BECOME FRENCH. Go somewhere and acquire Frenchiness. I would suggest France.
2) FIND A KUNG-FU NATIVE AMERICAN. He must be Native American, and he must know kung-fu. I will not waver on this.
3) GET SENT TO A SMALL VILLAGE IN FRANCE THAT IS BEING ATTACKED BY A GIANT WOLF CREATURE.
4) BEAT UP A BUNCH OF GUYS WITH YOUR KUNG-FU NATIVE AMERICAN.
5) SEARCH FOR THE WOLF TO NO AVAIL, ALLOWING IT TO KILL A NUMBER OF INNOCENT WOMEN AND CHILDREN.
6) CAROUSE FOR A WHILE. For several days, just kind of go around drinking wine and laughing about things that aren't that funny. Go on a wolf hunt. Meet a guy who only has one arm and his noble father (this is important). Hit on a hot French chick. Go meet an Italian prostitute who's a gypsy.
7) MAKE A FAKE WOLF CREATURE AND GO TO VERSAILLES TO GET REWARDED FOR IT.
8) RETURN TO THE VILLAGE WITH THE TRUE INTENT OF FINDING THE WOLF CREATURE.
9) GET ATTACKED BY THE WOLF CREATURE WHILE HITTING ON THE FRENCH CHICK.
10)GET ARRESTED FOR GOING BACK TO THE VILLAGE AND KILLING A BUNCH OF PEOPLE HOUSING THE WOLF.
11)"DIE" WHEN THE ITALIAN PROSTITUTE BRINGS YOU FOOD.
12)GET BURIED.
13)FIND OUT THAT THE NOBLE FATHER AND THE GUY WITHOUT AN ARM WERE CONTROLLING THE WOLF ALL ALONG.
14)KILL THE HELL OUT OF THEM.
15)HAVE AN ELDERLY FRENCH NOBLEMAN WHO WAS YOUNG WHEN THE WHOLE THING HAPPENED WRITE ABOUT YOU.
You won!
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